The holiday season is a time of year that is steeped in tradition, that is full of time spent with family and friends, and that usually comes with many memories. So if you have recently ended your marriage through either divorce or separation, it is easy and quite common to feel as if you have had the rug pulled out from under you.

It can be difficult to figure out how to navigate the holidays after a divorce. There will be relatives asking about your split, and you may feel as if you are on the defensive. In addition, you may have to spend the holidays away from your children for the first time in their lives, which can be intensely painful.

However, there are a few things you can do to make your first post-divorce holiday easier.

  • 1. Write it down. It may be very helpful to journal your feelings on the upcoming holidays, and to develop and write down a plan for how you are going to spend the days themselves. Write down where you are going to go, what you are going to do, and who you are going to do it with. Also, decide what you want to think about and what you don't want to think about. It's okay to be sad or lonely, as long as you are prepared for those motions.
  • 2. Stay surrounded. Whether you spend the holidays with family or friends, it may be reassuring and comforting to be around people.
  • 3. Make new traditions. Your old holiday traditions may no longer be possible, so it's time to start some new ones!

Source: The Huffington Post, "3 Steps to Surviving Christmas for the Newly Separated or Divorced," M. Marcy Jones, Dec. 22, 2011